Uluwatu Tattoo
It was a beautiful sunny day in Bingin beach. The waves were perfect, the wind was offshore. After a morning session I sat on the bar top of the beachside restaurant with my legs dangling above the hot Bingin sand. A beautiful Spanish girl walked down the beach for her first session of the day at a break called Impossibles just a short distance down the beach towards Uluwatu. I continued to play guitar, song after song as I often do on these kind of days. It’s great practice playing and watching the reactions of the people sunning on the beach and passing by.
Shantal has something special, very special. Her trademark giant smile, her infectious laugh, and the surreal positive energy that surrounds her everywhere she goes. This day was no exception. Sometimes just watching someone walk – the posture, the confidence, even the gate of their walk tells a story in itself.
After her surf session, she became an instant fan as I continued to play. She came up, said hello, and listened as I played. We’d wind up at my place up two flights of stairs for more music and enjoying the view from the rooftop deck. It was then that I noticed the unusual tattoo on her right side – a set of numbers and some letters – 84944 1150525. “WTF is that?” I asked. “That’s Uluwatu, the GPS coordinates,” she said proudly. WOW I thought – she IS as committed to becoming a great surfer as she says.
Shantal had to leave for a massage, but said she’d come back when she was finished. “I’m going to write a song for you about that tattoo,” I remarked, as she bounced almost dancing down the wooden stairwell to the beach.
I was so inspired by this young beautiful mystical ball of energy named Shantal that Uluwatu Tattoo just arrived at my fingertips. It was as if I’m wasn’t even in control of my fingers as the words simultaneously just rolled off my tongue. I wrote and recorded this song first take, almost exactly as it is today, and presented it to Shantal by the time she returned from her massage.
Uluwatu is an interesting mix of emotions for me; it’s really about the place Uluwatu but also about Shantal. I saw Shantal at that moment AS the place – Uluwatu. Everything just fit into place. Mystical one, magical place, emerald eyes, beautiful face, incredible lips, change you for life when you fall for her kiss (the infamous kiss of the reef) – all terms we use in surfing to describe the art of surfing the perfect wave.
I wanted the GPS coordinates to sound like her phone number in the song, thus, “you can’t call her but you’ll find her in the green room (the tube or barrel), looking at you.” I was imagining Shantal, completely barreled peering out of the barrel with her huge smile looking at the guys gawking at her as she thought, HA! Check this out GUYS!
If you’ve ever caught an amazing wave, you’ll understand how addicting it can be. And most likely that same night it will be in your dreams. And if you’ve ever had to paddle through a huge whitewater that you can’t escape with a duck dive (board and body going under the wave) then you understand, “hold on for your life.” The parallels with this song are so perfect to me.
Uluwatu has a special place in my heart, partially because of Shantal, but also because as a kid in California, you hear about this place called Uluwatu your whole life growing up. It’s as if Uluwatu is a mystical woman, and for me with this song, that mystical woman is Shantal. I will forever be indebted to her for the inspiration, her friendship, and her infectious positive vibes…
Change Will Set You Free
This song was written 16 months after losing everything material. Of course I didn’t lose everything, like my family and friends, health, etc. but it felt that way and was a very lonely time for me. At times it still is, but singing this song at the top of my lungs early in the morning at the beach with nobody around helps me like nothing you can imagine.
I live my life by the 80/20 rule and if I’m not happy with something at least 80% of the time, then it’s time to make a change. This song isn’t just about relationships, but it’s about everything in my life during this time. It’s been a very, very difficult time for me. These are the times that make us who we are. We learn, we grow.
Just prior to the fire, I spent two years of my life and most of my savings to build a dream home on a beautiful beach. Getting to taste the fruits of my labor was amazing. Waking up in the middle of the night and going into my music studio overlooking the Indian Ocean was like Christmas each day. The line between times of the day and even days of the week started to become very murky, and truly living life in the moment became the norm. Everything started to fall into place like a well oiled machine. I started to really feel life click and the ‘law of attraction’ work in ways that were eerily beyond my imagination. Everything I thought about during that time would seem to manifest itself very quickly. Sometimes just hours or days and poof! There it is. I was manifesting EVERYTHING! I literally thought, “shit, I have to be very careful what I’m thinking, since everything seems to manifest so quickly.” It was all positive until…the nightmare. The fire.
Having everything seemingly ripped from my grasp was difficult. I think I hid it well. From others and from myself. I felt like I had to. I was just publishing my first children’s book teaching kids that “happiness doesn’t come from material things,” and “it’s what’s on the inside that brings true happiness.” Now, I’ve literally lost everything I have here; my home, all my possessions, even my clothes. I managed to rescue my computer and one guitar from the flames, but other than that, I only had the board shorts and shirt on my back. I didn’t even have shoes or flip flops! That would prove to be more inconvenient that I imagined since getting size 13 in Bali is nearly impossible. I’d go 4 months with nothing on my feet. Then my income source in the USA stopped – unrelated to the fire. Shit!!!! Now I’m really F***ed! At times I was ok, but at other times I was definitely not ok. in general, I was a complete mental train wreck.
The best way to describe how I felt was like I’d been through a war. My limbs were numb and I’m pretty sure I had some degree of PTSD from climbing in the burning building to rescue my computer. I found myself struggling with anger inside, withdrawn, anti-social, depressed at times, and just basically lost. Decision making became monumental. Panic attacks ensued when I talked about the fire and visiting the building remnants was so difficult that my legs would tremble as I approached. Even now, as I write, tears are beginning to stream down my face and my throat swells up making it difficult to swallow. Luckily after the fire I had a roof over my head thanks to some very generous friends, but that also caused guilt and shame inside of me. My mother and father always taught us to work for what we had. Handouts to this day are not easy for me to accept and gratitude is difficult to show when I’m embarrassed and ashamed. In the midst of all this, when I thought about the love between my girlfriend and I and how it opened that door to my heart, it comforted me. Somehow she helped me feel that everything would be alright.
“I feel like I’ve been through a war
but when I opened up that door
I knew, everything would be alright”
I’m a very introspective person and sometimes I think that’s difficult for me as I tend to overthink things. Sometimes in my mind it’s so hard to hold my head up high when the voice inside my head battles between “you’ll be ok” and “you’ve lost everything and it’s not going to be ok”.
“I always do my best to try
It’s hard to hold my head up high
’n my mind there’s a battle not a fight”
Music seems to save me sometimes. When I get into the zone, I’m completely lost in my music. Sometimes I hear music from others that makes me realize I’m not alone during tough times, and other times my own music affects others that connect to it – this also makes me feel less alone. Life for me lately can be so f***ing lonely, even though I have a girlfriend who is amazing – not having her physically with me each day as I go through this very difficult stage can be incredibly lonely at times.
“What seems to keep me going on
is the message when I sing a song
That I, am not the only one”
What really gives me hope is the realization that everything changes. I’ve looked back at difficult times and tried to figure out what it is that turns it around from unbearable and lonely to peacefulness and acceptance. Sometimes it’s a person that helps me through it, but I think most of the time it’s something specific that gives me vision and puts me on a mission of passion and purpose. What I’ve realized is that change ALWAYS comes – we don’t know when, we don’t know how, but we don’t even have to do ANYTHING! Just wait! When you are at your lowest low you can ever imagine, I can guarantee that if you do NOTHING at all, it will get better. Something will come along and trigger change. The trick is to help that along as quickly as possible. An introspective mind will keep poking, keep searching, keep discovering, what is it that brings me out of this funk? In the end just realize that it will change sooner or later, but just give it time and change will set you free.
I think a lot about this when I know people close to me that have committed suicide. That’s happened 3 times in the past year – that’s 3 too many. I realize that all they had to do is wait – DON’T DO ANYTHING and they’d come out of it. It’s so sad to me. That’s where this line comes from.
“Believe me when I say right now
You’ll never know just when our how, but change
Change will always come”
The chorus really ties it all together for me. When you’ve reached the end of the rope and can’t do anything more than just cry. When you can’t roll out of bed because it’s just too difficult to face the day. Think of what you want your life to look like. Start imagining what you want to see. Believe it. Paint the picture in your head. Feel the emotion of what you see. Embrace the change that’s about to come because you know it will. You can’t get any lower so look up, hold your head high and SEE IT! It’s not easy to do this, but it can be done. For me, it often means listening to a story of compassion or believe it or not I sing the words to my song… I love creating music – it heals me…
Chorus:
“Hold your head up high
And when you want to cry
Think of what you wanna see
And change will set you free -eeeeee -eeeee -eeeeee
Change will set you free, change will set you free [repeat]
Believe me when I say right now
You’ll never know just when our how
Change will come your way
Change will set you free, change will set you free [repeat]
Hold your head up high
And when you want to cry
Think of what you wanna see
And change will set you free -eeeeee -eeeee -eeeeee
Change will set you free, change will set you free [repeat]
If You Only Knew
We all have feelings of finding our cinderella, or for the girls out there, your knight in shining armor. If you’ve found yours, congratulations. Hold on to them. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I believe it still exists. So I keep looking. Who doesn’t want to grow old with someone they love? My parents were married together for 57 years when my father passed. And even now, they are together, side by side, both 6 feet under and miles above in their place in heaven. Just as they wanted. Theirs was a true cinderella story – it does exist.
I hear a fair amount of people say that they don’t want to get involved with someone because they are afraid to get hurt. I think differently. I don’t fight my feelings, I just feel. If I end up getting hurt it sucks, but that’s ok. There’s always good, it’s just how you look at it. I’m more afraid of not feeling at all than I am of feeling and being hurt. I live my life by the 80/20 rule, and the worst of the hurt rarely lasts longer than 20% of the time spent in the relationship. As long as that’s the case, those are pretty good odds.
Lit’l Bobby Boogie
Wow! The origins of this song really started back in 2013 when I was an artist liaison for Michael Franti and Spearhead at the SoulShine Festival Bali. We were all out at a Chili cook-off in Ubud where Michael Franti was a guest judge. Later that evening it turned into somewhat of a dance party. Someone started a conga line and we were all lined up single file dancing when I started doing a sort of a skip-hop dance move. Michael was dancing nearby and said, “cool move Bob”. I remembered his comment and occasionally would break out into the same move over the coming months until eventually I was pretty good at mimicking it.
Fast forward to nearly a year later when I was working on the first book with my illustrator Roy Gonzalez. We took a break one Saturday night and went to the Padang-Padang Reggae Beach Party one beach over from where I would eventually call home in Bingin Beach, Bali. We were there earlier than the big crowds; with reggae playing, a beautiful night, and nobody on the sand dance floor. I felt like dancing so I started dancing solo on the beach. I started doing the same move I was doing when Michael Franti commented, “nice move Bob,” nearly a year earlier.
The next morning, as we woke up and started working again on the books, Roy said, “What the hell was that dance move you were doing last night?” We started laughing and I told him the story. He said, you should write a song about it and I’ll make Lit’l Bobby’s Character do the dance in an illustration. So we took a few photos of me doing the dance and both got to work. It was definitely synergy in motion that day between Roy and I. I miss those days of working that way together. It was all fun and pure passion. It wasn’t long, less than an hour, before we had both ‘The Lit’l Bobby Boogie’ song, and Lit’l Bobby Character in his trademark ‘Lit’l Bobby Boogie’ dance pose.
The funny thing about the whole story was that there was a young Javanese kid staying at the home stay where Roy and I were set up to work. He was currently enrolled in an entrepreneurship program in Java. Roy and I both have the nurturing instinct, as well as years more experience, so we were teaching him a bit about real life entrepreneurship. He was fascinated. He admired us as we worked together writing, creating music, and illustrating the concept we had just created. He just happened to be nearby and overheard the entire conversation between Roy and I. When we completed the song, lyrics, and illustrations within the hour he was completely baffled. He looked at us and said, “wait a minute, you just created all this based on the conversation you had less than an hour ago? Really?” Roy commented in his trademark style, “yea, kid, that’s how works when you love what you do.” We just chuckled as the kid sat there speechless.
The rest of the story continues as Roy was supposed to do a mural in Robbie Krieger’s (co-founder of The Doors) studio, but got sidetracked and came to Bali to work on my book. Through our agent, Roy knew Jimmy Z (one of the best sax and harmonica players alive) who’s worked with many of the greats. Roy suggested getting Jimmy Z to record The Lit’l Bobby Boogie and so we set it all up. The rest is hearsay, because I wasn’t there, but my understanding was that when Jimmy Z was recording the song, Robbie Krieger heard it. Robby asked who wrote and sang the reference track and asked Jimmy Z to do a track without his vocals so “Bobby from Bali” could sing a version of the song. Really? Robby Krieger heard my music?! That’s how I ended up singing the current version with Jimmy Z with Z-Tribe performing the music. My new bucket list item became co-writing and recording a song with Robbie Krieger in his LA studio. That hasn’t happened yet, but when it does, this story will come full circle.
The Sunset Song
In the high season of 2014, Bingin Beach Bali was filled with a regular crew of local Bule (non-Indonesian ex-pats). Every sunset was many of the same familiar faces. We all knew each other, and it was a tight group in so many ways. Although we all came from different parts of the world, Bingin seemed to bring a common bond and understanding of life’s purpose – at least for the moment.
We’d all congregate in the same area of the beach during sunset – every day. It was interesting; as the sun fell near the horizon, there’s magical few minutes of pure awe. What I observed, is that during those few minutes, no body spoke. Just complete silence. Not talking wasn’t something that we arranged… it just happened. We all just sat, intently focused on the same thing – the sun… in complete awe and silence.
This song captures the spirit and energy of what I felt in those moments as we all watched the most beautiful scene unfold before us – day after day on a beautiful beach – with amazing people… at sunset. The transition of day to night. A time to reflect. A time to appreciate. Sunsets always take me back to that same speechless feeling. And I always hear this melody in my head at the time…